Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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