Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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