are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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