Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
