I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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