apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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