Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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