We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
