Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize