K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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