We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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