there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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