Me too!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
