I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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