I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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