and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize