my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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