This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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