Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
