The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
