I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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