OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
