We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
