Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
