I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
