Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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