Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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