all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sober January is a disaster.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
