dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
