SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
