dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you would pick up someone in the library
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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