Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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