I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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