no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I would ride that face into the sunset
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
