just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
