You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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