im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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