the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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