he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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