Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
