Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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