is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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