you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
