we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
