He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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