Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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