you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
this just has baby written all over it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
