I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
