she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
two words: eviction party
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
