Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
