Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
