So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
