dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
