I seem to have left my pride at pride
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
