I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize