Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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