Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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