Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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