I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
